"For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’" (Isaiah 41:13 NKJV)
Dear God
Please help me. Please give me the strength to fight another day. I no longer trust my own mind, my own thoughts, my own self. Please guide me to the purpose you have intended for me to live. Somewhere along the way I lost my self and I have no idea how to find her again. I have tried to be positive, to fight this battle, to seek and conquer, but I am exhausted. I do not know how much longer I can take this permanent attack on my mind.
Depression has engulfed me Lord, I am struggling to keep my head above water. For years I have kicked underneath the surface, holding my head high while I battled inside with the thoughts that have slowly eaten away at the hope and happiness of a young girl and now a woman. Lord, I am drowning. The fight that I felt I would never give up on is suffocating me and I honestly don't know how long I can last under this spell of hatred and confusion. I need you more than ever, I need help and I ask of you with all my heart to hear my call.
Who am I? Why do I think the thoughts I do and why do I hate myself so much? Who is the person I am terrified to look at in the mirror and is the real me, still there? Is happiness so elusive or am I choosing the wrong people, places and methods to heal my heart?
This battle feels like it is coming to its end and I am scared that I am losing once and for all. Please Lord, help me to fight this, help me to breath again and to live a life that doesn’t terrify me any more. I do not know where else to turn. Please give me guidance so I can find the strength and hope I need to cope another day.
Love Always.x
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