Its Takes Faith To Understand

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." (Psalm 27:4 NIV)

John Crowder writes that 'The pleasure of God is the very essence of the Gospel' and I believe that this statement is completely true, but not always so easy to remember! In his book 'The Ecstasy Of Loving God' which I have returned to today as felt like I needed some more supernatural charging, speaks of the fact that happiness will lead you to God and we as believers can and are meant to experience divine pleasure and abundant relationship with Him....all the time. Its what I heard the wonderful Patricia king talk about but it's amazing how easy I have found myself sinking into a bit of a religious mindset in recent days. As you would be able to see from my recent blog entries, I started worrying I wasn’t doing enough, studying enough, understanding enough to really be a part of Gods kingdom, but I've got it all wrong. I am a part of the Kingdom, I just need to remind myself of it more frequently, through spirit not just mind. In other words, faith is the key, not understanding. Initially at least.

I am amazed at how easy it is to slip into striving mode, to go back into the mind controlled zone from which I came where I thought everything had to be understood by the mind before it can be truly understood and embraced in the spirit. But God is different, I already know within my spirit all I will ever need to know, but its also fine if I want to bring my mind up to date with it too. The problem is when I begin relying on my minds understanding to release me into the kingdom, that is already mine to enter, deep academic knowledge or not! Its not about mind understanding, its about spirit understanding and embracing it wholeheartedly with just that, my heart. My head will eventually catch up but I have got to stop trying so hard to academically understand and rely more on my spirit and the guidance of the holy spirit to show me the way.

I would love to spend my life living here on earth but with my senses fully engaged in heaven and no matter how many books I read or seminars I go to, my western mindset might not fully ever be able to understand how that is possible. But the thing is, deep inside of me I know it to be true. I know its why I spent years searching for the elation that I have been fortunate to experience in the glory, but previous only found in street drugs and alcohol. Inside of me I have always yearned for something more, and now I've found it, I’m trying to make too much sense of it. Its weird that sometimes you have to  learn to rely on your inner knowledge, that gut instinct, that God place, rather than the way your mind works. After all,we are bombarded daily with images from the media which tell you to work hard and play harder and that enlightenment is to be found in external factors not from something within yourself and within a supernatural world that we naturally belong to. No wonder my mind is in such a muddle!

Its mad to me that I never read into the different types of street drugs available or their desired and not so desired effects before, during or after taking them. I put my trust fully in them because I knew from watching media and stories from other people about their effects that I could reach that level too. But now, now there is something really positive, something I can embrace fully for the rest of my life, I am trying to academically weigh it up in my mind, thinking understanding is the way to enlightenment rather than faith. It is faith that will enable me to live in the glory, the divine, the ecstatic. It is faith that will catapult me into the world I dream of living in and it is faith that will provide the framework for rebuilding the rest of my life in a way that is perfect and pleasing not just to God, but as a bonus, to me as well.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with me researching, reading, answering workbook questions, that’s me, that’s the way God wired me, I have a thirst and a passion for these very things. But it is about being careful about what I am choosing to absorb and not worrying when my carnal mind doesn’t fully understand the beauty of what I am reading. I am more than happy to read the Bible every day, that remains the most important book to read and will propel me into more glory and understanding than any other book out there, but I will be careful to make sure the other books I read are more about experience than the striving, the glory not the guilt, so I can tap into that part of my spirit that opens a portal of understanding for my soul and body to catch up. It is hard at times to think outside of what I have/we westerners have, been programmed to think like, but I am happy to rise to the challenge. After all, the glory is mine and yours alike, so lets get enjoying it!

Love Always.x