I Believe In God

"But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit." (1 Corinthians 6:17 NIV)

God is breaking boundaries every day for me. This walk is full of lessons and I am a keen student where my interest is both challenged and at times rewarded. I've reached a point in my learning where I now can honestly say I believe in God. This may shock some people, shouldn't I have believed in Him anyway? After all, I have had visions, experienced glory and write about my journey. But in total honesty, there was still always a part of me that held a small seed of doubt. I wanted to fully believe with all my heart and I really thought I did, but today whilst sat reading about faith, there was a definite shift in me. That seed of doubt had left me and it was only later when I was watching a Youtube video on the 'proof of God', that I realised I didn’t need to hear the words, I knew it to be true. I knew that something can't come out of nothing, that there had to be something there in the first place to create what we see as space and matter. That the creator of these 'finite' things, must be immeasurable in time, space and matter. This time, the video merely pointed out the obvious, it was no longer a quest for proof. Scientifically, there is overwhelming evidence that God must exist and there is also evidence of predictions that have come true in our current age and before us from within the Bible. But no, this cementing of my belief did not actually come from the proof I have seen and read, it has come from within me.

Somehow, whilst reading today I felt connected with Him like never before. There were no visions, no goosebumps and no feeling of bliss and glory. I can't even remember exactly what I was reading, but what I will tell you is this; I believed that He truly loves me and my heart leapt as I realised the feeling was absolutely mutual. It was not me against the world, it was us together and there is no such thing as against, only through and for. I don’t know why it was today of all days, I don't know if the book had significance or if my birthday had sparked a change. All I know is, the seed of doubt that had roots within me, just dropped out and left me.

I have been reflecting all day on my relationship with Him and His plans for me. With the seed of doubt shifted, I felt the answers I was getting were pure and truthful and they helped me to gain insight on my life. I looked at the past couple of years and even the last few days and admitted I had absolutely no idea of why I seemed to find pain, hate and challenge wherever I turned and whatever I did. The inability to control my mind games has been exhausting and I was frustrated with myself for not being able to be as gracious and happy in my life as I should be for the many blessing I already have. The answer seemed obvious, that I do not have to understand His plan, but I must understand that each thorn has a purpose. Each challenge is there to enable growth and to make sure I am ready to be used by Him for His plan on this earth. I may not want, like or feel unable to cope at times with the stumbling blocks in my way, but perseverance will pay off. Just because I don’t understand it or can't see past it, doesn’t mean that He isn’t fully aware of what is happening and had even planned it to be so. I had to stop thinking within the walls of my fleshy self and start to use my spirit to learn, to absorb and to conquer! Glory!

Its so true that each step is more and more beautiful. God is so real to me today and it has been a quiet realisation that has clicked into place and set free boundaries I didn’t even know existed. This journey is anything but predictable and I know that this will be the same for the rest of my days, here on earth and in eternity. I am breathless, I am captivated, I am in awe of the wonder of my creator and of all creation. He has taken my broken heart, mended it and put it back in filled with hope. The beat of it is one that echoes through the spirit realm and resonates with the glory that is all around me. God is my keeper and I am blessed to walk another day in His glory. Thank you Lord for giving me the understanding to enable me to remove the seed of doubt and replace it with a spirit filled with love. May your will be done.

Love Always.x