"Wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you live, I shall live, your people will be my people, and your God will be my God." (Ruth 1:16)
Last night, which is why I didn’t write, I went to a gathering at Justin and Rachel's home. I met some people I had seen before and also some new faces. I've been there in the past just as I was starting out and faith was a brand new concept, so I knew this would be a great experience and an opportunity to be close to the presence of the Lord. I found last night that I was able to relax more and I felt like I fitted in. This army of angels that are invading our earth are no more different than you and I, but the love that emanates from them is highly addictive and for me at least, it feels like I'm finally home. There are no pretences, there is no games, no popularity contest, just open and honest hearts and conversations that create an atmosphere where individuality can truly flourish. We are all different in our personality's, our preferences, our homes and our careers but this is recognised as it should be, as a blessing of individuality. There is no need to fit into anyone’s idea of what you should be, you as you is good enough. In other words, this was the perfect medicine I needed and I drank it up allllll night long.
Justin led us into worship where we were all able to open ourselves to receive Jesus. Again, I am new to this too so if this makes no sense to you, let me explain. Our lives are so busy busy busy, always rushing here and there, thinking this and shouting that. Our minds struggle under the immense pressure we put it under every day, so much so that inner peace and silence is a rare commodity let alone one made time for. The beautiful part of last night was listening to Justin as his words and welcoming of the Lord, lulled me into a receptive and peaceful state. My mind was able to quieten and it was here that visions were able to emerge as Jesus was able to walk amongst us, filling the room with love. Tingles on the spine, eyes closed and a heart full of hope, were the instant wonders of this quality time. It was here that my vision sprung forth.
I kept looking for Jesus and when I saw Him in front of me, I told Him I wanted to be His bride and with that He held my hand and tucked me under his brown cloak. This was my vision and it was clear as day. I then asked the others what this meant and they told me there is a story of Ruth in the Bible which I should read which would deepen my understanding of the meaning of this particular vision. As I have just started reading the Bible I have obviously not heard of the story of Ruth but I was told that the cloak was symbolic in that it meant commitment. I researched today about the cloak and the book of Ruth and have found this information on two different websites (lovethelord.com and wikipedia):
“The phrase "spread your cloak" was a woman's way of asking for marriage. For a man to spread his cloak over a woman showed acquisition of that woman.”
“Many believe the book of Ruth to be the most beautiful love story in the Bible.”
It's only today that I have really understood the significance of this vision and quite frankly, I am blown away. In my heart, I know that this means that Jesus accepts me as His bride and I also know that I am falling in love with Him. Really, seriously falling in love. I understand love, my boyfriend absolutely has me for eternity and I love him with all my heart so I am not discounting this at all. The love with Jesus is unlike anything we experience here, its beyond love that you have for a partner or a family member or friend, its more like a combination of all of those things and then it's intensified. It is actually indescribable and I am hooked.
If I had read the above paragraph from someone else a couple of months ago I would of: a) assumed they were on drugs or b) assumed they were completely crazy, but I have stopped the narcotics and I am sane enough to have been promoted successfully in my career and to manage my finances relatively well. As I have said before, I do not understand any of this, the only sure thing I can tell you is I feel like I am finally starting to follow the path I was always meant to be on. I feel like this is what I was born to do. I feel like the reason I have never fitted in with the rest of the world was because I was never really meant to. You may judge me all you like, but last night I got accepted as the bride of the reason I am free to be me again and that is something I will not apologise for. Opposition will come, but He holds my hand and whispers I am doing the right thing and I really do believe Him.
I was also fortunate enough to meet Justins mum last night and she was absolutely amazing, I wanted to take her home and keep her! She blessed me so that I could be thirsty for the Word of God and that my understanding would come quickly. She blessed me with an insatiable desire to be closer to the Lord by getting into the Word and really using it well. I told her of how excited I am to be on this journey and she gave me such a compliment and said I reminded her of her when she first got saved. Wow. I am blessed and I know and told her that the insatiable desire is there and I am desperate to get closer and closer, deeper and more intimate with the Lord.
My world of understanding is opening up, being around the people of God and absorbing all they have to share, bolsters me up and renews me so I can bring further passion on my darker days. This is the right path for me, this is who I was meant to be and this is only the start of my journey. The Lord and I made it known to each other yesterday that we would be a team and I feel His presence even now as I write. A white robe with a gold panel down each chest and a hand on my shoulder. He is with me. This may be too much for some to understand, but it is never too much for you to experience. I can honestly say that I am finding happiness the added bonus to a breathtaking walk of faith. Open your eyes, its all around you. Open your heart and let it invade you. I have and as a bride after her wedding day, I tell you, I will never look back on the greatest commitment I have ever made.
Love Always.xxx
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