Basking And Dancing

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

There is something very suspicious going on around here. Very suspicious indeed. I went to bed last night and as I was lay there I started getting excited about today. I was just lay in bed thinking that I couldn't wait to spend more time with God! Seriously. I was just desperate to spend more time absorbing the Bible scriptures and just to be walking around with the presence of our Lord. Woah, this was beautiful.

Pleased to say that today has not disappointed. I have been basking all day in the glory and I am still grinning from ear to ear. I have actually felt the presence of angels around me and they are so much fun. It makes me feel fun, they're just great company and don't seem to mind the amount of smoke I am most likely billowing in their face. One bad habit at at at time.....

My manager came to see me today from work, as I still haven’t returned. On a serious note, my illness does make it hard for me to guarantee when it is I will be well enough to return without the risk of sinking into depression or rising to the manic patient I became prior to my being sent home last time. I honestly told her that I had been doing fairly well, but that last week had completely knocked me for six. I couldn’t believe how down I was last week and really I still can't. It was nothing short of terrifying. I am so lucky that my manager is incredibly understanding and patient and she advised me that until I can manage a full month without the extremes of my disorder, then I shouldn't think of returning yet. 

In the past my reply to this comment would have been that that may well be forever, but I have God with me now and I know my recovery is on the up. If today is anything to go by, I think the good times are just starting to roll in. My demons have been on vacation today and good riddance to them, I have been far too happy reading the Gospel of John to let them bother me. Come on Demons, you vs Jesus, I know who my bets are on! 

My mind opened today so I could absorb the words of God and they really do offer hope and inspiration. Aside from that though, they are actually telling us what we intrinsically know but are never truly sure of. I have seen first hand the effects of glory on the children of God. Every time I meet someone who walks closely with Jesus, you can just tell them apart. Reading about how humble and kind He was today, I looked back at the people I have already met on this journey and can honestly say that they are all alike to Him. Their mannerisms, their glow, their actions and their words were so similar to that which I read of and it is a true testament to His love, being around them. I am positively attracted to the Lord within them and today I understood why.

I also personally had an amazing moment with the man of the hour today. I put on the soaking music and sat on my chair, palms upward and basked in the deep glory of his presence. Whilst sat there I had an image of dancing closely with Jesus and I then stood up from the chair and danced in my kitchen, eyes closed and allowed myself to completely be taken away by the sheer power of this image. It was breathtaking and unlike anything I have ever experienced in the physical realm. I felt his hand in mine and stared straight at Him and felt the pure love that existed in that very moment. I am still harbouring that deep stirring and excitement as I now write. I was transported to Him and felt like a bride on her wedding day as I danced around, with only Him to guide me.

I do not understand what is happening, I don't even want to. It is above my human capacity to understand. This is all new and I could never have been prepared for what beautiful, glorious moments would have happened when I finally opened my heart to let him in. This is a new world. I am a new creation and I am loving it. Darkness may come, but it will not dance where He has stood, for today I had a taste of being His bride and I will never ever let that memory pass. Thank you sweet and beautiful Lord, for taking my hand and in turn holding my heart. It is yours to keep.

Love Always.x